"and We have created you in pairs"
Al Qur'an 78:8
Your Questions - September, 2016

Children as young as 8 years have started speaking lies even though they are repeatedly being warned of the punishment of Allah. How can we deal with it?

Answered by: Shk Zafar ul Hasan
Translated by: Nisaar Nadiadwala

Praise be to Allah

Whether the child is eight years or younger than it, the prime concern should be that he should not lie.

"In order to train them to be truthful it is essential that you as parents should also save yourself from speaking lies." Not only parents but also school, religious teachers and also the other elders of the family should also abstain from speaking lies because it influences the children too. There are two ways of imparting Moral Education. One is just by oral speeches and the other is through actually demonstration through words as well acting upon the words. If oral teachings fail, then practical implementation can be useful.

Let me share with you an authentic Hadith from Abu Dawood with regards to this.

A lady said that her house was on the way to market. One day her son left the house and went to the lane. She said, “ I called him but he did not respond. I stood at my door and kept calling and telling him that I will give you something.” At the same time the Prophet (Peace be upon him) passed by and he heard me alluring my child offering him to give something if he comes home. He asked me, “ You were offering the child to be given something if he comes back. Will you really give him?” I brought out something from my pocket and showed to the Prophet (Peace be upon him) saying that I will give him this.  He replied, “If you would have called him with the promise of giving something but did not give if he came then it would be counted in your books of deeds that you have committed a sin.”

Therefore it is essential to introspect whether we are not a party who influence our own children to lie.

 Another thing to be remembered that children are children and they may forget the instructions given to them and may need to be reminded again and again. That is why there is a popular phrase that when a person behaves like that he is called as ‘Behaving childishly’. So do not lose hope but keep on encouraging your child to be truthful. Caution him about the punishment of Allah.  

 If your concerns are genuine and your efforts are in full swing to stop your child from lying then remember two things. First, your efforts will not go in vain and soon in future he will be improving by the will of Allah. He will always remember your training in speaking truth. Secondly, Keep on insisting your children to speak truth as it is your duty. It is the rule of Allah that if one wants to wipe out an evil then keep on working on it to remove it. One day the child will give up by the will of Allah.

May Allah guide us to upbring our children in a correct manner.

And Allaah Knows Best.