There is a very vital question before us.
Today a person gets angry and
starts issuing divorce to his wife by saying, "I give you three divorces"
And sometimes he says, "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you",
So does his wife become forbidden for him forever?
And if there is still any chance to get her back is it through getting her married to someone else
and then take her back or can he take her directly back in his marriage?
Actually such problems have sprung up because
the method of giving a divorce as fixed by Islam has been dropped by us
If people understand how to issue a divorce according to Shariah,
then confusions will never come up
Aisha bint Abu Bakr, Ummahatul Mo'mineen, (Allah be pleased with her) and other companions of the Prophet (peace be upon him) agreed
that divorce in the pre Islamic era was full of ignorance and atrocity.
It is very similar as it is seen today and spread widely among the masses.
It is narrated in Hadith that whenever a person used to get angry
he used to say, "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you"
In fact men used to divorce hundreds of times in one spell of anger
and after few days they use to say, "I take you back"
This was one way, the second way was whenever a husband wanted to harass his wife,
he used to say, "Neither will I divorce you nor will I take u back"
He used to issue a divorce and then
once her Iddat (waiting period) was about to get over he used to take her back
After taking her back he used to harass her again for few days and divorce her again
He did not keep her as his wife nor did he allow her freedom
to get married to someone else and get settled.
Such was the intensity of atrocity upon women in pre Islamic days that the Qur'an crushed this ritual of ignorance and declared,
"Talaq will be given twice", it can be given only two times
Divorce can be given only two times.\NWhat does it mean? It means that..
If he divorces once and takes his wife back then she still remains his wife
then if divorces second time after a fight.
If he takes her back within the period of Iddat (waiting period) then it is alright
but if he does not take her back and issues the third divorce to her. Now he loses his right to take her back.
This is the procedure showed by Allah Almighty in issuing a divorce
is explained about the divorce issued through which one can take back his wife
The two divorces, those divorces after which a man can take back his wife are of two divorces
and after the third divorce is issued then he cannot take her back
Now after the husband has issued the third divorce which is called Talaq e Mugallaza
After Talaq e Maugallaza the husband does not have any right to take his wife back
Now the Qur'an says, "whoever issues three divorces", now we have to understand that it actually means
divorced three times and not three divorces as I said,
At-TallaquMarratan, Marratan means one after another and not together
though many people assume it that it means two divorces which is not correct
The real understanding goes like this, ‘The divorce after which the wife can be still taken back is twice'
He issues one divorce and can take her back, then he issues second divorce and can still take her back
but after that, as Allah says, he has no right to take her back if he issues the third divorce
Unlike in the days of ignorance when people used to divorce hundred times
so Islam allows only two opportunities to take back the wife.
But if someone issues the third divorce then his wife is forbidden for him
and now there is no chance of her being permitted except
That lady will pass her waiting period or pass a few more months
and get another proposal for marriage and she gets married with another person
But if he too divorces her then if that lady wants a fresh nikah with her previous husband then she can remarry.
But such nikah should not have any preconditions that it looks like a fixed marriage
with a few days of marriage and then divorce her so that she may go back to her previous husband
This is called Halala and the Prophet (peace be upon him) said,
"Curse of Allah be upon the one who performs Halala and for whom the Halala is performed"
Thus the Messenger of Allah has cursed the husbands who try to get their wives back through halala and also those who arrange such halalas
Such halala will not make the wife permitted for the first husband because the real procedure is explained by Allah that
By chance her second husband does not get along with her and issues a divorce
or the second husband dies and only then if the first husband wants to remarry her then he can remarry her.
Thus Islam terms this procedure as talaq u marratan and ended the rituals of the days of ignorance.
Now we have to understand the correct procedure of Divorce.
As we said in the beginning that people say we have issued three divorces
but it the procedure is not three divorces but divorce three times.
Let me give you an example
Every Muslim prays and while bowing he recites ‘Subhana Rabbiyal Azeem' three times
and when he offers prostration he recites three times Subhana Rabbiyal A'a'la, Subhana Rabbiyal A'a'la, Subhana Rabbiyal A'a'la
But if one bows and says, "I say Subhana Rabbiyal A'a'la three times" thus he said thrice but he has not recited it three times
Every scholar would say that he has said the words of tasbeeh only once though he has uttered the word ‘Thrice'
Therefore marratan means to issue in three different period
So the procedure of divorce as mentioned by Allah in the Qur'an is this,
"O Prophet, when you [Muslims] divorce women,
divorce them for [the commencement of] their waiting period and keep count of the waiting period"
In Surah Talaq, Surah no. 65, Allah has stated all the clauses pertaining to divorce very clearly.
He states that divorce women in those days when she can pass her waiting period,
in other words, the divorce should be given during the time when she is not in menses.
Allah has instructed women in Surah Talaq that if a husband is divorcing his wife
then the wife should have a right to have a chance to think, understand and correct herself
That is why Allah has not permitted to divorce wives in one sitting and
the Prophet (peace be upon him) declared this as jesting with the Book of Allah because
The husband has snatched away the right of the woman to correct herself, a right that is given by Allah Himself
But rather he throttled her right
It is the right of a woman that after being issued a divorce she can correct herself
If the woman corrects herself then Allah has commanded her husband to take her back
The divorce will be issued twice and in two months and two times the wife will be given a chance to correct herself
Now even after issuing two divorces, yet Allah says that even now the third divorce is not required
and it is mentioned in Surah al Baqarah,
"Either you keep her (in Nikah) with honorable terms or set her free with honorable terms (after the third divorce)"
Here, in this verse, Allah commands to issue third divorce and set her free.
But if someone issues three divorces in one sitting
and sets aside his wife then what is the purpose of this verse? It becomes inapplicable
He has not applied the Islamic procedure of divorce.
That is why the Lord of the Universes commands in Surah Talaq
that if you divorce according to the Sunnah and give two chances to your wife to think and correct herself.
Then there is a very high chance that Allah produces a very good outcome for both of you.
So this is the correct procedure of a divorce and if any person gives three divorces in one sitting by saying, "I give you three divorces"
or says,"I give you three divorces in writing" or some one says, " I divorce you, divorce you, divorce you"
If he utters the word divorce one thousand times yet it will be counted as only one divorce.
This is how Allah has informed us the procedure of a divorce and this is what we are commanded to follow
And in the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) if anyone acted against this
As the Qur'an declares it, "These are the boundaries set up by Allah"
These are the rules set up by Allah and "Do not transgress them"
Be aware, do not break the laws assigned by Allah, do not oppose them
That is why when a man, during the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him) said to his wife that,
"I give you divorce, I give you divorce, I give you divorce" three times
It is narrated in Sunan Nasai, that the Prophet (peace be upon him) got very angry
Why did he get very angry? Because the man broke the laws of Allah
and he did not give the due right of his wife but rather he snatched it away
He did not give any chance to his wife to think and ponder
and he disobeyed Allah's verse, "These are the boundaries set up by Allah so do not trespass them"
The Prophet (peace be upon him) said
"I am still present amidst you and you have started jesting with the book of Allah in spite that I am present among you?"
Making fun of it?
He was so angry that one of his companion says, "O Messenger of Allah, you may please get aside and allow me to chop of his head"
Thus divorce is not to be issued in one gathering itself.
It should be given three times and not three at once.
It is not two divorces in single sitting but At-tallaqumarratan divorce in two times
Marra means one time, thus marratan means two times
And if you study the procedure in Qur'an it means, "Divorce should be given once a month"
This is was the procedure that prevailed during the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him)
During the reign of Umar bin al Khattab (Allah be pleased with him), as found in the Hadith,
people hasted in issuing divorce and in order to stop people from doing so
He ordered that if anyone gives three divorces in one sitting then we will separate him from his wife.
Thus Umar bin al Khattab (Allah be pleased with him) ordered this as a part of his wisdom and imposed it as a punishment.
Yet in those days the sahaba including Ibn Abbas and many others did declare that the punishment
of imposing three divorces in one sitting as final by Umar bin Khattab was unacceptable to them
An entire group of the sahaba did not agree with this ruling (Allah be pleased with them all)
Even a group of Tabein too took a stand that the way in the time of the Prophet (peace be upon him)
and during the reign of Abu Bakr (Allah be pleased with him) and the rule of Umar (Allah be pleased with him) same should be applied today
That if someone in those days did act like that, it was still counted as only one divorce
and so we shall follow the same ruling and issue fatawa according to it
Till today a group of Ulema still issue the ruling according to it
It is noteworthy to consider this: A lady passes thirty to thirty-five years of her life with her husband
The husband does not want to divorce her and the women would never even think of being divorced suddenly
But shaytan incited the husband to get angry over a fault of the wife
and highlighted it so the husband says, "Go, I divorce you three times" or utters, "I divorce you, I divorce you, I divorce you"
And finally, if the woman approaches the local court complaining that her husband did such and such thing, imagine the graveness of the situation
Therefore the procedure prevailing in the times of the Prophet (peace be upon him) and during the rule of Abu Bakr (Allah be pleased with him)
If it is adopted then Insha'Allah one will not require to go to the local court because in the three months period,
both the husband and the wife will understand the situation properly
Whether they will be able to get along or not
Ulema have ruled that if three divorces are issued in three span of time in three different month
then the wife will be forbidden upon the husband
And he will lose his right to take her back
And if he gives divorce according to the procedure from Qur'an and Sunnah
then he has a right to take her back after one divorce
He has a right to take her back even after the second divorce too
And if the woman does not correct herself after being issued first and second divorce
and the period of iddat gets over
Then even after few months or few years after the iddat is over,
and yet the husband and wife want to stay together and build their home
Then they have to perform only a fresh Nikah and it is not required to marry another man
They can do it in presence of few seniors and elders and start their life again happily.