The virtues of returning someone’s harm with pardon and generosity instead of revenge
Among his signs is that He created mates for you from you and He made Affection and Mercy between you (Surah Rum)
Islam is a religion of love and affection
Among the blessings reminded by Allah, one is that He has made love and affection in our hearts and joined us together. Now in order to protect the duo, we are encouraged to overlook faults of others and cover them. This is a charactertistic of the people of Taqwa (piety)
Imam Ahmed bin Hanbal and Bayhaqi record a hadith from Abu Sa’ed Khudri (Allah be pleased with him) that he came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and requested for an advice. He advised, Establish taqwa in your heart because Islam stands upon taqwa.”
Taqwa and forgiveness goes together
To forgo (people’s faults) is nearer to Taqwa and forget not kindness among yourselves (Surah al Baqarah verse 237)
Consider this, Your spouse is very beneficial for you and done good in huge amount and once or twice you get some difficulties from him/her and the entire efforts of years of goodness gets wiped out. This is what the above verse explains. ‘Do not forget kindness among yourselves’. Do not highlight few errors and let large number of goodness fade away. Applying the above verse in your mutual dealings with people will bring good in abundance.
Forgive, but beautifully
Even the Prophet ( peace be upon him) was commanded to Forgive those who were harshest against him
Fasfahis safhal jameel (Surah Hijr) So overlook the faults in a beautiful manner.
The above verse was a command to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and it does not only talk about forgiving but forgive beautifully! Forgiving beautifully means, after you forgive, the matter is over and there is no need to remind their mistakes and embarrass them or complain to people about it.
The first place to begin pardoning and and generosity is Your Home
“Little children have subtle hearts and mind and whatever they see and hear will stuck on their heart, such memory is not so strong upon growing up”...Hassin bin Ali bin abi Talib
Generous behaviour should begin with your spouse. Both of you should focus more on each other’s good characteristics and cherish them instead of getting disturbed by each other’s weakness. Such a thing can widen the distance between the two and end up with visiting lawyers and then finally a divorce. A true believer will never keep on suppressing (or threatening) his wife with violence every now and then but if his wife errs then her other good qualities will make him happier, says a Sahih Hadith.
Your hostile and harshness can be adapted by your little children and learn it even before they start their schooling. Therefore among the earliest lessons a child should learn in manners is to forgive and overlook the faults of people and pardon them. The environment at home should be fixed up properly otherwise children will repeat the behaviour with their siblings and then it may become a part of character. Appreciating each other and pardoning with good world would leave a huge impact upon the child’s character.
Jabeeb ibn Abdullah (Allah be pleased with him) came to the Prophet (peace be upon him) and he sat for a long time. The Prophet asked him if he wanted to enter Paradise. He affirmed. The Prophet asked him if he has done good deeds in worship and other acts? He said, he did. “Yet all these acts cannot qualify you to enter Jannah till you add a characteristic, “Love for brothers what you love for yourself”, the prophet (peace be upon him) concluded.