Importance of Physical Affection in Raising Children
Scientifically, it has been proved that physical affection, that includes hugs, kisses and proper eye contact during or without a conversation, is essential for proper upbringing of our children. But some groups also claim that it may lead to over indulgence or pampering. So, which way to choose?
It was narrated by Abu Huraira:
Allah's Messenger (ﷺ) kissed Al-Hasan bin Ali while Al-Aqra bin Habis at-Tamim was sitting beside him. Al-Aqra said, "I have ten children and I have never kissed anyone of them," Allah's Messenger (SAW) cast a look at him and said, "Whoever is not merciful to others will not be treated mercifully."
Sahih al-Bukhari 5997
This hadith shows that physical affection is not only allowed, but also encouraged for proper upbringing of the children. The key is to maintain a balance.
Hugs and kisses have endless benefits, but for a hug to play a vital role, it should be at least a 20 second hug, irrespective to the age to the child, be it a toddler, a school going child or even a teenager. Everyone needs affection.
- Hugs help to calm an upset child. Even if the child is throwing a tantrum, it is better to first calm the child and then you may lecture him/her afterwards.
- Hugs provide a sense of security.
- Hugs release oxytocin, which helps in releasing growth hormones.
- Hugs enhance the bonding between parent and child.
- Hugs elevate your mood and this effect is two sided, benefitting both parent and child.
- It is always a good idea to hug your children when waking them up in the morning or when putting them to bed. But this certainly does not mean to limit the hugs for these two times only. Hugs are welcomed any day, any time ☺
How do you prefer to raise your kids? with or without physical affection display?